Saturday, June 11, 2011

If it quacks like a duck

Breaking news: Pesticide ban lifted!

Oh, how I wish it were April 1st so this would actually make sense.

Seems the largest lawn care company is up to their old tricks again. The latest, in order to woo more customers, they are actually saying, "the Provincial Government has lifted the ban on pesticides for the control of weeds again."


Neither is the fact you have to take an entire program to get weed control (Fiesta), or your socks periodically escape from your dryer in an effort to challenge your pairing skills. You see, there's just not a lot of money to be made if they give you a one-off weed spray and these companies know that, hence the lies.

The problem is, there will always be people out there who are so fed up with the way their lawns look, they will want to believe and be drawn into this vortex of untruths.

Remember you can't spell "believe" with out the "lie".

Oh, how I wish I could write posts on lawn care instead of this dribble.

On Wednesday of last week I had the Ministry of the Environment here to inspect my premises- which I passed without any problem. When I asked them about some of the statements others have been making they told me, they have no jurisdiction and a company is allowed to market their programs and products in anyway they see fit- fibs included. That's why we have the Better Business Bureau, the Complaints Board and sites like Homestars, they told me, so the home owner, once duped and parted from their money have a forum from which to warn others.

However, not everyone has access to these tools, or thinks of researching the free-fall before they leap. So much for those poor sods I guess.

Yet the Ministry seemed less concerned with these developments and more intent on running scenarios by me like, if I spilled Fiesta and a duck swam by, drank it and got sick, what would I do....?


What do they think, I'm out there every morning dumping $180 bottles of concentrated Fiesta into the drain like ketchup on fries?

Isn't the Ministry of the Environment there to protect us from ourselves? Enforce the bylaws? Safe guard the environment?

If some companies are out there spreading propaganda that pesticides are back on the table for public consumption, isn't that a mixed message?

What we need is a consumer watchdog in place to not only protect, but call these companies on their misinformation. Educate the customer for godsake! Not someone more concerned about the possible upset stomach of aquatic water fowl.

The representative from the Ministry wouldn't even refer to Fiesta by name and kept calling it a pesticide as if to reinforce that her job had not become obsolete.

And perhaps she's right? I mean four years from now when they realize we've put a hell of a lot of iron into the soil the song and dance routine may change. Fiesta might even become the next outlaw with a picture at your local post office.

Seems the Ministry still likes to think they have teeth but when it comes to those operating a lawn care business they only bite down with toothless gums.

I guess the 2 bills I fork over every season for my operating license is just a cash grab too?

Forget the duck. You don't think I get an upset stomach from swallowing that every year?

Oh how I wish I had picked a different business to go into.