It's just not funny anymore

Three years ago most of us embraced the new pesticide bylaw, including yours truly.

For one, we had no choice in the matter and secondly everyone had a nice fuzzy feeling of helping out the environment, kissing puppies and saving our children from the horrors of deformation- I scratch my third leg as I type.

Then we became annoyed with, Eco-this and Eco-that, as everyone and their mother tacked, "Eco" on to everything, jacked prices and tried to cash in on this wonderful new world of flowers and honey bees.

All this would have been fine if we had organics that actually worked as well as all the horn blowing...but they didn't and the giggling subsided to a murmur of discontent.

One of my friends put it simply, "the bylaw was done with the best intentions, but was poorly executed."

Now, here we all sit as the weather beats the hell out of our lawns riddled with weeds, infested with various grubs and the chinch bugs feasting away beside all the crabgrass.

It's the curb appeal you always dreamed of...on Halloween maybe, but not much else.

Many are probably praying for an early winter to cover up the patchy brownness with the purity of white.

Allergies, noxious weeds and insects are all off the charts and getting worse with each passing tick of the clock as I struggle to rearrange application timing and cultural practices- my effort to conform to the, "threat of the day". Still, I find, after every move I make, my king is rendered to checkmate.

Other lawn companies as well, are doing their best with what they've been left to keep on top of things, but many have now resorted to lying and promises they can't keep in order to squeeze out one more year from the disgruntled customer.

It's the type of fraudulent activity the Consumer Protection Agency says, "is a matter for the Ministry of the Environment" and the Ministry claims they, "have no jurisdiction to control what a company does, or says to sell their service."

So, you look around at your neighbours and some just give up and let the lawns go to hell. Then there are a few who maintain the lush green of days gone by....hmmm. Can anyone say "pesticide bunker"?

The fact is, this year I've had more people approach my truck and ask me questions about what to buy when they go state side. They always do it in hushed tones for fear Big Brother is lurking close by.

So, I tell them the active ingredient they need for their particular problem, if that's what they want to do. I mean, I've got a pesticide licence which isn't of much use anymore, I might as well use my knowledge for something besides posting a blog once a month.

The Ministry did say, they have no jurisdiction on what I say to people when it comes to my business...right?

Thank you for free speech if nothing else.