The Hangover III - with Grub Galifianakis

Here we are a full three years after the pesticide bylaw came in to effect for Ontario and suffering from what I like to call the Merit hangover.

Except this hangover is much harder to watch and has me wanting to walk out of the theatre before the end.

Merit was what we used to use to control white grub back before the Province decided to remove it from the shelves and leave us to fend off our root feeding foes with nematodes and a prayer.

Perhaps you have noticed how much damage there is from skunks and raccoons digging the living be-jesus out of your turf this spring on their quest for the white grub.

Yet, this isn't an adventure, nor is it a fantasy led by a wise wizard. This time you can't get rid of that pesky ring by casting it into Mount Doom. In fact, there isn't much you can do to combat these dark forces at this time of the year.

Well...you could get an aeration at least. Open up the soil for Hitchcock's birds to take over, but remember this isn't a thriller that gets resolved easily.

Meanwhile, there are a lot of snake oil salesmen out there that would have you believe nematodes will work this early in the season...they don't!

They'll quote Steinernema glaseri as the nematode of choice to throw you off track and separate you from those funky new plastic c-notes, but this isn't a mystery filled with intrigue and red herrings either.

By the time you figure out who-done-it?...your money will be gone and so will the lawn company, but you'll still be left with your grubs.

The truth is, even in ideal conditions when all the parameters have been met and the nematodes sent into battle in brooding cloud and rain somewhere in mid-August, you can expect maybe....80-85% control, so this isn't much of a war film either for these band of brothers.

Many times this spring I have been left to ponder all this senseless destruction and in staggered bursts, whisper, the horror...the horror. It's actually the closest genre to what is happening out there.

The saddest thing is, it isn't my fault, nor is it the home owners, yet we are shelling out the shekels only to witness another sequel to the grubs hunger games.

Almost everyone I talk to is fed up with the lack of alternatives and contemplating replacing the lawn with rock gardens and artificial turf. This is a threat opening up a whole new set of problems if enough people get on board that Titanic. As stated yesterday, the grass is responsible for filtering a lot of crap out of our air and if that changes...I don't want to think of the potential consequences.

But, what can be done while lobbyists and enviro-fear mongers rule the roost?

I'm open to suggestions and I share your frustration.

One thing for sure with this hangover...it sure isn't a comedy. Because the only ones laughing are the grubs.

Contact your local provincial representative and push for modifications to the pesticide act. Trash politics and return to the health and safety approved scientific approach. Put chemicals, that were approved by Health Canada and the PMRA back in the hands of the licenced professional...let us do our jobs effectively.

Happy Earth Day everyone

My contribution is to post an article that appeared in McLean's magazine last month concerning the drive toward a pesticide ban in Manitoba.

Since we are now a full 3 years into ours as of this day, I thought it might be fun to revisit the whole debate from another angle.

Manitoba should think twice before banning pesticides

The unintended consequences don’t necessarily make for a healthier environment

by the editors on Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Winter is not typically given to thoughts of lawn care. Nevertheless, Manitoba’s conservation minister recently announced he’s making plans for a pesticide ban. In particular, Gord Mackintosh said he’s keen to bring Manitoba’s pesticide laws in line with those in other provinces. “Manitobans are entitled to the same protections most other Canadians enjoy,” he declared.

Yet Manitobans might want to learn from the experience of those other provinces, rather than simply parrot them. Evidence from other jurisdictions suggests there are numerous unintended consequences to such a ban. And not all of them make for a healthier environment.

Currently every province east of the Mantioba-Ontario border restricts the use of cosmetic pesticides in some way. Mackintosh says he admires the strict bans enforced in Ontario and Nova Scotia. These rules prohibit use of a long list of pesticides on all lawns and fields. Golf courses and farms are exempt.



Of course, every one of these banned pesticides has been certified as safe for residential use by Ottawa’s Pest Management Regulatory Agency. PMRA scientists perform rigorous evaluations of all pesticides and when they conclude that one “meets Canada’s strict health and safety standards,” this verdict carries the weight of exhaustive investigation. Bans, encouraged by lobby groups ranging from family physicians to environmentalists, rest not on competing scientific evidence, but rather a vague unease about chemicals in general.

As such, provincial pesticide bans represent a triumph of sentiment over science. But does this sort of regulation provide a net benefit to society? The experience of other provinces can be revealing.

After two years without pesticides in Ontario, the evidence is starkly visible: mostly browns and yellows. There’s little debate the province looks shabbier and weedier now. Parks, sports fields and lawns have become wholly infested with dandelions and a variety of other weeds and there’s no practical way to remove them, other than hand-pulling. Whether this is a good or bad thing may depend on your definition of beauty—not to mention the condition of your back and knees. A recent poll found a majority of Ontario homeowners want to end the ban.

But what of other health impacts arising from a pesticide ban? In Chicago, the suburban municipality of Highland Park regularly won awards for the quality of its sports fields. Then four years ago it dropped pesticides for trendy organic pest control. The result was a disaster. In some parks, weeds accounted for over 60 per cent of the ground cover. Many fields were unusable for sports. “The fields are getting worse every year,” parks commissioner Cal Bernstein told the Chicago Sun-Times. “Something needs to be done to reverse the trend.” In November, the district approved the return of pesticides.

And while pesticide bans are frequently defended by advocates as a way to reduce unknown risks and promote a more natural environment, in fact the opposite may be true.

The number of artificial turf fields in Ontario has recently exploded—from a mere handful a decade ago to over a hundred this year. For Rob Witherspoon, director of the University of Guelph’s Turfgrass Institute, the reason for the switch from natural to ersatz is obvious. “Without pesticides it has become a lot more challenging to maintain a natural turf sports field,” he observes.

Artificial turf fields boast plenty of advantages, despite their average $1-million upfront cost. A typical artificial field can provide up to four times the usable playing hours as compared to natural grass, since real turf requires frequent rests and considerable expertise to maintain. Nonetheless, it seems ironic a pesticide ban meant to encourage a greener environment will result in a greater prevalence of plastic sports fields. (Not to mention the issue of how to dispose of an artificial field once its lifespan ends.)

Other real risks have also been overlooked in the unscientific panic about pesticides. Witherspoon notes that grass is not only a natural filter, but also a microbiological system that consumes any bodily fluids leaked, spat or vomited onto it. Not so with an artificial field. In the absence of a cleansing downpour, what’s on the field stays on the field. Texas, with a hot, dry climate that favours artificial turf fields, has reported a rate of staph infections among high school students many times the national average. In 2007, footballer Boone Baker of Austin, Texas, almost died from a deadly methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA) infection he picked up from his high school’s artificial turf. Regular disinfection of artificial fields using industrial-strength chemical products is now a recommended maintenance procedure in all climates.

When it comes to pesticides, Manitoba can learn a lot from the experience of those who’ve gone before. If the goal is to reduce verifiable risks, promote a more natural environment and encourage healthy activities, banning pesticides seems a strange way to go about it.

I know decisions are made to protect the public as a whole, the smoking ban comes to mind, but people are still allowed to smoke outdoors and in their homes, so why not keep the pesticides away from Joe Public, but put them back in the hands of the professional. And by "professional", I mean someone who has earned their pesticide licence, not some kid off the street looking for a summer job. I worked hard for the 92% I got on my landscape licence where anything below 75% is a fail.

To me, it seems like a more viable solution and a solid compromise. Then those who want cosmetic applications can have them done correctly and those who don't...you're already living the dream....ahhhhhchooo!

This little piggy goes to market in 2014

I expected to be talking about Spring today, enjoying the seasonal change, getting ready for the 2012 lawn season launch, but noooooooo. I sit here with a picture of a pig atop this post.

Phoma Macrostoma! If you've been reading this blog then you know it's coming. Actually it was to have arrived this year (2012). After all, it has been approved as the next great, or not-so-great, organic weed control by the PMRA from what I'm told.

So why isn't it available yet, when its creator Karen Bailey in a phone conversation I had with her, told me it would be?

First of all, don't get mad at Karen. She's always been very pleasant to me and I'm sure she wants to see the weed control she created on the market as much as anyone.

Depending on who you talk to, there are two schools of thought.

One side says, Scotts is having problems recreating a product that will perform the same way Phoma Macrostoma does in the lab...hence the delay.

The other whispers, Scotts is still selling a lot of Weed-B-Gone and don't want a better weed control on the market until that dog has finished hunting. Since they have the licence for this product they can do whatever they want.

So, my friends is it greed, or is it the fact that a company that makes 3 billion annually doesn't have the resource to fix this problem?

I tried to get an answer from Scotts but they only sent me a link to the government PDF on Phoma Macrostoma, which is of absolutely no help.

As it stands now, we are not expecting this product until 2014. That's another 2 years! I guess they'll have to sell you the inferior Weed-B-Gone with the same active ingredient, (iron chelate), that is in Fiesta? Yup the exact same Fiesta all the lawn care companies now use to control weeds...or try to.

However, Scotts has dumbed-down their product to the point, for the most part, it is ineffective and who does the customer bitch to?- The lawn guys.

Even using the recommended rate with this stuff I still get complaints, that "it just doesn't work" and I completely understand. Expecting an organic control to make your lawn weed-free especially when neighbours around you have given up on their turf, or you're in a new subdivision where they are still building and disturbing all those juicy weed seeds from dormancy, or you live next to a school/ city owned field, you can't win.

I, as a lawn care provider, can only hope to hold the line until I get something more effective.

Is that Phoma Macrostoma? Perhaps, but now I have to wait two more years to find out.

Maybe Scotts figures in another two years, we'll be so fed-up and desperate, we'll pay anything for the precious product?

I think it's time to light a fire under Scotts' ass and send a little message? I'm not just talking about boycotting Weed-B-Gone. I'm talking about all Scotts' products, fertilizers, grass seed, insect controls, the whole shootin' match.

So let's turn up our collective noses...since money is king and Scotts sits on the throne with a pompous swagger.

Tell them what you really think.

Oink! Oink!

Forget March break...we're going back to school now.

"The government is letting us spray for weeds again!"

"Don't go with that company they can't possibly give you the same service for the price they are offering."

"We have the best products, the same ones golf courses use."

"All our technicians are licenced professionals."

"Don't pay attention to a few bad reviews, we have thousands of satisfied customers."


Do some, or all of these statements sound familiar?

These are some of the tactics used to get your business every year when it comes to lawn care.

Let us look into each of these statements and answer them, shall we?

The government is letting us spray for weeds again!

Since the approval of Fiesta, which is an organic weed control (not killer), we have been allowed to spray weeds. In fact, no one has ever said we couldn't spray weeds, it was just a matter of, with what?

Since the pesticide ban the older methods like Killex, Par III, etc. were no longer allowed, but organic methods? Use as much as you want pal.

The fact that some companies are twisting this information to get you to pony-up your dough is heinous. remember it is a Provincial bylaw, which means: it supersedes all municipal bylaws. So when they say they can now spray in...let's say Markham only...they are lying to your face.

Don't go with that company they can't possibly give you the same service for the price they are offering.

It is competitive out there, but I believe there are enough lawns for everyone. However some of the bigger companies have more overhead, must adhere to franchise agreements and financial bottom lines and targets. Given the nature of the business I believe this is more a statement of panic than anything else. You can tell, by how fast they come down in price when there's a competing bid.

Give the customer your quote, tell them what services they get and what makes you different from the other companies out there and let the customer decide.

We have the best products, the same ones golf courses use.

This is just a bald-face lie. Golf courses are still exempt under the bylaw and we are not allowed to use the same products. As far as using the best products out there under the bylaw? Sure, we all use them, but one company having an edge over another would come down to customer service, not product.

All our technicians are licenced professionals.

When I first started in this business I was part of a "no experience necessary" cattle call. I was given 1 day of training, mostly on how to up-sell a customer and then sent my merry way in my own truck. By the end of the first 2 weeks, half of the employees had quit or were fired.

The remaining wrote a rinky-dink technicians test and were passed regardless of knowledge. Did I suddenly become more knowledgeable after that test? No, but I did write for my licence at the end of the year and over time I gained the knowledge.

This year the same routine will be conducted by many a company out there for one reason and one reason only. The first round is like planting a flag on your territory and the more trucks and employees you have out there, the quicker that can be accomplished. At least if you end up with a half-assed job, or fertilizer burns on your property this year, you'll understand why.

Don't pay attention to a few bad reviews, we have thousands of satisfied customers.

It is true that a pissed off customer makes more noise than a happy one, but when you are checking sites like Homestars where customers rate companies on a scale of 0-10, take what you read into perspective. If a company has a ton of zeros and then a series of glowing reports followed by a ton of zeros, that sounds more like crisis management than a true testimonial to me.

Look at the average score if you want a more accurate picture and try to focus on companies that have an average of 7 or higher. You probably won't see any of the top names in lawn care there.

This quiz doesn't eliminate all the pitfalls, but it does put you in the frame of better preparation before you sign on the dotted.

Doing your homework will take you far and your lawn will end up with the passing grade.

The univited guest

So here we are with the season looming and it will probably start early. I'm still hearing the buzz from the CBC's Marketplace broadcast on Weedman. I could go on about leopards and their spots, but do I really need to?

Despite the bad press, the tactics some companies have used year-in-year-out to bully people into paying for unwanted service have worked...so why change now?

I will lay money on it: There will be several of my customers, who are former clients of other companies and will find their lawns flagged by these intruders in the spring. This will force me to delay the start of their lawn care program while everything is sorted out.

How is this possible?
The customer cancelled their contract with Weedman etal. and gave us the confirmation, in fact, they've already paid us for our service for the year.

It's all about a barely legible clause on the invoice of a company like Weedman that states: "service continues year to year for your convenience." The bigger companies and perhaps some of the small ones will do anything to adhere to this principal and ignore the customer's desire to discontinue.

I can't say this has never happened to us where we did an unwanted application, because it has. But unlike our competitors we apologized for the misunderstanding, did not bill the customer, did not send them to collections and did not hound them any further for their business.

It may sound ridiculous to some, but we call each and every customer before the season to confirm they wish to continue with our service so we don't do unwanted applications and run into these situations.

So make sure you cancel in writing, get a cancellation number and write down any information you can to help you when this happens down the road...because it will.

I'm now advising some customers who have been repeatedly harassed by one company, or another, to threaten legal action for trespassing if unwanted applications are performed after cancellation notice is given otherwise, like the common cold- you can get rid of it for a while but inevitably it will be back again one day.

Legaleasy...nope...legalhard

At this time of the year, it is not uncommon to find ourselves competing with other lawn companies when quoting lawn care.

We show up, measure and assess the property then leave a quote based on square footage and lawn conditions, (previous grub damage, compacted soil etc.)

The recommendation usually involves a few notes/ suggestions and the price. We ask the customer to contact us with their decision when and if they are ready to proceed.

Yesterday, a potential customer sent us a quote from one of the larger competitors and I was amazed at all the bells and whistles before they actually got around to conveying a quote.

Does this sound like a bottom line proposal to you, or a lawyer trying to deflect attention away from the real issues?

The names have been omitted to protect anonymity, but I am here to read between the lines and educate you on what is really being said. After all I used to work for a company like this before I started my own business.

We would like to thank you for the opportunity to provide you with a quotation for the 2012 season as well as provide you with some further information regarding our programs and services offered for your home at (potential customer address)

OK, so far so good.

(This lawn company) has lightning fast service calls for those with a passion for being pampered.

As long as you can afford it.

We guarantee your complete satisfaction and are committed to our 24 hour response time on our free unlimited service calls!

Careful now, "unlimited" means I could call and have you there every day of the season for your 24 hour yet, lightning fast service.

One of our Senior Lawn Care Service Advisors...

Warning: Senior Lawn Care Service Advisor may be an unlicensed summer student.

...will visit your home to assess and resolve any problems or answer any questions you may have regarding your lawn or services applied.

And we'll up-sell you applications to fix those problems.

If you're not at home we will leave you a detailed written report and follow up that evening with a phone call to go over your concerns and resolutions to solve them.

Oh, I see now...get as many service calls as you want. If you don't follow our recommendations and pay for the extra service, you have no one to blame but yourself and the satisfaction guarantee is off the table. Hey, we told you so.

In addition to unlimited free service calls,(this lawn company) offers unlimited free re-applications on all services we apply!

In truth, this would not be a good idea as doubling up on an application could severely hurt the lawn health. Anyone seen fertilizer burns? Maybe they haven't been in business long enough to know better?

(this lawn company) is simply the best, with over 40 years of longevity and industry proven success! You can trust our total satisfaction guarantee and that we will keep our promises.

40 years? I guess I was wrong, but when are they going to tell me how much I have to pay instead of blowing their own horn? This is a quote right?

(this lawn company) is proud to have moved into this new era of Natural lawn care in Ontario where legislation allows for only the use of Natural and alternative approved products to be used on all turf grass areas. (this lawn company) has been testing and mastering these alternative products over the last few years and have the best Natural Program and value proposition on the market!

Then, it might concern them to know there are other companies using the same products and charging far less.

For the 2012 Season...

Alright! Finally the quote.

...we are very excited to be offering our all new Program which is our greenest and most environmentally friendly approach that we have ever had to offer! This program contains a revolutionary new liquid weed control product called Fiesta WHICH WORKS IN HOURS NOT WEEKS AND REQUIRES NO WATERING TO BE 100% EFFECTIVE!

Still no quote! BTW Fiesta has been out for a few years now. Everyone in the industry uses it and liquid weed control has never needed water as it would be rendered ineffective.

You will receive 4 scheduled applications of this weed control throughout the season plus unlimited access to free re-applications by just contacting us via a quick phone call or e-mail!

I guess they haven't heard how expensive this product is? F.Y.I. they keep using the words "weed control", which is correct yet, I've seen this company's lawn sign proudly promote, "We kill weeds".

Also this program includes 3 Slow release granular polyon coated technology golf course grade fertilizers,

The key word here is "grade", but the customer will see golf course and go "wow". You do know that golf courses are exempt under the Provincial bylaw and allowed to apply what the lawn care industry can no longer use, don't you? It's not the fert alone creating beautiful turf grass on the fairways.

and a free mid-summer inspection of your lawn as well as a Summer Stress Relief application for Chinch Bugs.

When last I checked there are no products legally registered in Canada for the control of Chinch Bugs. There are soil amendments that seem to deter this insect activity, but this is the same type of wording that had the government pulling Neem Oil off the shelves last year. Jesus! Grow a brain!

We are on your lawn a minimum of once a month from April through September for a minimum of 6 visits. The cost for your property at (potential customer address) would be $318.1 payable on a by application basis over 5 equal payments of $63.62

Finally payment info!...oh...wait a minute...

...or if you wish to prepay and save making it only $302.195 HST included that's a savings of $15.905 by prepaying now.

Wow! Save $15.905! Whatever will I do with the extra half penny? Just round it up people.

Back By Popular Demand!!! Our Special Beat the HST Offer!

They haven't done one application yet and here comes the up-sell already.

We also have an amazing special offer for this year.

Actually it's a special offer every year, but nothing sells like the fear of passing up a deal.

We are offering a Special Beat the HST offering which allows you to have our program as described above as well as your choice of 2 premium add on services, that's 8 actual visits to your lawn. You can choose 2 of the following services to be added as part of your Beat the HST program: mechanical core aeration, natural grub control, and natural crab grass preventer. For an additional $199.0895

$199.0895? Anyone else find this confusing and wonder why they're doing it? Seems more mechanical than personal to me.

you can have this deluxe package. The original cost for this program is $544.41 but by prepaying this you will save $27.2205 that's an amazing 25% off. Making the total prepaid price only $408.3075!

OK let's see...hmmm...original program $302.195 + another $199.0895 should equal $408.3075 which is 25% of %544.41 making me save $27.2205, but it doesn't add up. So maybe I should carry the one, divide by 13% x the square root of lawn square footage....why does having a nice lawn suddenly seem so hard?

Me thinks, someone needs to go back to school.

Perhaps we all need to study harder. I recommend a site called Homestars to see what other customers have to say about services they've used, or Google the company name and "complaints" to gain a better understanding before you say "yes".

If a company is worthy of your business then the pretty words and window dressing will be evident elsewhere and not just on the quote.

With friends like this who needs to advertise?

If you saw "Snake in the Grass" Feb. 10th, 2012 on CBC's Marketplace, then you'll know what I mean. The program addressed customer outrage at the way Weedman conducts their business including consumer protection violations.

Hey, do your homework. Just Google any lawn company and "complaints" and you'll see, in most cases, there's nothing different from the Marketplace broadcast.

I spent five years in the Lawn Care Industry with one of the larger companies before I started my own. I already knew this and have reported it here in many a blog over the last 4 years.

I watched as they failed upwards with their customer service, their crass handling of complaints, their inexcusable practice of sending inexperienced students to do applications and the blatant lies in order to ring a few more shekels from unsuspecting patrons. The company I worked for was pompous and pretentious in how they treated their customers and I, as the messenger, often handled the brunt of the fallout.

When I started my company 5 years ago with an impending pesticide bylaw looming, people thought me mad. Why would I go into an industry that had such limitations placed on it to be successful? Yet, I believed by changing the lawn care model and running an operation that was 180 degrees from that of my competitors I could achieve growth- a growth that has continued year after year since I started. All this despite having limited tools to do my job effectively.

The bigger companies should have realized the storm was coming and put on goulashes as well, but they continued to pound away with the tired methods that made them rich when the products worked with absolution.

Sure it's easy to blame the anger and resentment Weedman is feeling on the pesticide bylaw, it has hurt us all, but it's not the real reason for the loss of revenue. We use the same materials as the big guys and we have close to 98% customer retention year in-year out.

So what's the difference?

Today the customer has to become a partner and realize their role in maintaining the health of their lawn, it's the only way and it requires education. Gone are the days of showing up twice a year and spraying weeds and gone is the methodology that these companies still cling to like a baby-blankie.

The customer is not a number and they are not a blank cheque - a realization in the first step to building the better beast.

Personally I hope companies like Weedman continue to operate as they always have...after all, they're my best advertisement.