If it quacks like a duck

Breaking news: Pesticide ban lifted!

Oh, how I wish it were April 1st so this would actually make sense.

Seems the largest lawn care company is up to their old tricks again. The latest, in order to woo more customers, they are actually saying, "the Provincial Government has lifted the ban on pesticides for the control of weeds again."

NOT TRUE!

Neither is the fact you have to take an entire program to get weed control (Fiesta), or your socks periodically escape from your dryer in an effort to challenge your pairing skills. You see, there's just not a lot of money to be made if they give you a one-off weed spray and these companies know that, hence the lies.

The problem is, there will always be people out there who are so fed up with the way their lawns look, they will want to believe and be drawn into this vortex of untruths.

Remember you can't spell "believe" with out the "lie".

Oh, how I wish I could write posts on lawn care instead of this dribble.

On Wednesday of last week I had the Ministry of the Environment here to inspect my premises- which I passed without any problem. When I asked them about some of the statements others have been making they told me, they have no jurisdiction and a company is allowed to market their programs and products in anyway they see fit- fibs included. That's why we have the Better Business Bureau, the Complaints Board and sites like Homestars, they told me, so the home owner, once duped and parted from their money have a forum from which to warn others.

However, not everyone has access to these tools, or thinks of researching the free-fall before they leap. So much for those poor sods I guess.

Yet the Ministry seemed less concerned with these developments and more intent on running scenarios by me like, if I spilled Fiesta and a duck swam by, drank it and got sick, what would I do....?

Really?

What do they think, I'm out there every morning dumping $180 bottles of concentrated Fiesta into the drain like ketchup on fries?

Isn't the Ministry of the Environment there to protect us from ourselves? Enforce the bylaws? Safe guard the environment?

If some companies are out there spreading propaganda that pesticides are back on the table for public consumption, isn't that a mixed message?

What we need is a consumer watchdog in place to not only protect, but call these companies on their misinformation. Educate the customer for godsake! Not someone more concerned about the possible upset stomach of aquatic water fowl.

The representative from the Ministry wouldn't even refer to Fiesta by name and kept calling it a pesticide as if to reinforce that her job had not become obsolete.

And perhaps she's right? I mean four years from now when they realize we've put a hell of a lot of iron into the soil the song and dance routine may change. Fiesta might even become the next outlaw with a picture at your local post office.

Seems the Ministry still likes to think they have teeth but when it comes to those operating a lawn care business they only bite down with toothless gums.

I guess the 2 bills I fork over every season for my operating license is just a cash grab too?

Forget the duck. You don't think I get an upset stomach from swallowing that every year?

Oh how I wish I had picked a different business to go into.

...Pants on fire

It truly is alarming to consider that very few in the lawn care industry seem to care about the customer anymore once the cheque is signed, or the Visa is swiped.

Sure, you can eventually get someone on the phone if you're mad as hell about something, but why get your customer to the brink in the first place?

Here are some lessons in the glowing examples of blatant lying in order to get the money and run.

Now take into consideration a few of these come through the words of others and are classified as here-say, yet you should know what is apparently going on out there.

Lesson #1: I find it troubling to see the ads on a few garden centres' readerboards touting the use of nematodes to get rid of your grubs. Yes nematodes do work provided they are applied in the right conditions, after being stored in the right conditions, with the faith that these microscopic worms are even in the package in the first place instead of baggy of vermiculite, or a sponge with a brown blob on it.

However, selling them at the end of May....really?

I guess they are counting on the average customer to be dumber than a sack of hammers and desperate to try anything.

I've even heard of a few retailers who don't even bother to refrigerate the little buggers.

Good luck getting those dead nematodes to work.

Yet, even the manufacturer, who is making money hand-over-fist, is stocking the shelves while they know the more effective time to apply is in mid August.

Oh well....they can sell them to you again in the summer.

Man, no wonder I have so many people telling me nematodes don't work.


Lesson #2: There are a few companies out there, that I covered in a previous post, who seem to have lying to customers as part of their mission statement, all in an effort to expand the coffers with the almighty buck.

It has been everything, from erroneous information about the current weed killer of choice, Fiesta, to the constant upsell of products your lawn probably doesn't need, to -egad!- faking your confirmation of service and billing you for unwanted applications.

And if you're OK with all that then I have some swamp land in Florida you might be interested in.


Lesson #3: This one comes from personal experience so I have no problem dropping the name of the company- Rittenhouse.

This year I spent over 4G's on a new spray tank for one of our trucks only to have it leak Fiesta all over the back of the flatbed in only the second day of use. On the third day the spray gun fell apart because they decided using a plastic connector between the gun and the hose would be more efficient than spending $3.00 more to put a brass one in.

Hey don't believe me....check out the pics.




All this in the middle of the busiest part of the season.

Now, they did send me a replacement piece for the tank and why not? A plumber friend of mine told me they had attached it too tight in the first place and cracked it.

But the spray gun? I was told the tank and gun are not suitable for organic products like Liquid Corn Gluten and Fiesta.

Hello! You do know there's a Provincial bylaw now? Have you even heard of the PMRA...Ministry of the Environment....are you even listening?

I have another used tank that I bought for $400, 3 years ago and other than replacing the odd hose, it has given me no trouble at all spraying organics.

So you can understand why I am royally pissed.

I guess no one ever told these idiots that happy customers are repeat customers and they'll just soldier on with their P.T. Barnum way of thinking and caveat emptor.

*clapping* Way to screw yourself out of the potentially thousands of future dollars I could have spent with your company...was it really worth it?

This is one former customer who has no problem posting his displeasure with extreme prejudice to a world wide audience.

Here ends the lesson.

I fought the lawn and the lawn won

You're mad, upset, frustrated, weed-infested and ready to pull out your turf as well as what's left of your hair and it isn't even the end of May.

I feel your pain brothers and sisters. You're not the first person to complain about weeds and threaten to pave over your grass with concrete and paint it green.

The good news is, it's never too late to start with a program and do something to improve the curb appeal that has abandoned you since the bylaw came into effect.

Depending on your situation this might mean a soil test. Understand what is going on in the soil and you can fix the problems. Many times I'll show up to assess a lawn and there is something going on in the soil that I can't see, but I know is wrong. A soil test will analyse the soil and take all the guess work out. It will let you know if the ph is too high, or low. It will register the amount of organic matter, phosphorus, potassium, magnesium, calcium and sodium in the soil and how to fix it.
Let science be your panacea for about $40.

Or perhaps your lawn isn't that far gone and you simply want to fight a decent fight?
There are products available to help you out whether you do it yourself, or call the professionals.

For the D.I.Y.s there's Weed-B-Gone a dumbed down version of the Fiesta the pros use. It does work provided you spray to the point of run-off on the target weed. Yet, be aware this product is not systemic and the weed will push through again. That's why it is important to spray twice within 30 days of application to get effective control. Unlike the old methods where you had to wait weeks before seeding, Fiesta allows you to do so a few days after application.

As far as grubs are concerned? Right now forget about it. They are done feeding and going into the instar phase. No more damage will be evident until late July, early August when the new eggs hatch and the grubs start to feed. Plus even if you were to put down your nematodes, the grubs are too big to control effectively at this time of the year. So seed the damaged areas and wait it out until August when you can ambush the new larvae.

A healthy, thick lawn is the best defense against all; grubs, weeds, turf disease, and over-seeding is your golden ticket to achieving this goal. However, be careful in the Spring if you are using Corn Gluten as a pre-emergent/ fertilizer. This application will help suppress crabgrass and new weeds but it also impedes good seed from germination.

My advice is to wait until the fall if you are using this product on your lawn, otherwise, you are not going to be able to seed again until the end of June and that could be a tough sell for any seed.

One further note about Corn Gluten: Think of this application (approx. 20lbs per 1,000 sq. ft.) as a shield on your lawn that will protect it when the dandelions go to seed. Whatever you do, don't aerate the lawn after you've applied the corn otherwise you punch holes in that shield and render the application useless. Wait until the Fall for your Core aeration and use it in conjunction with your seeding.

You may not win the war, but you can win a few battles.

Je ne sais quoi

"How come my neighbour's lawn looks so much better than mine when he does nothing to it?"

The answer is, "I don't know".

After all, you live next to your neighbour, I don't. Yet I am assuming you have a job and go to work everyday, you do social activities, go away for weekends/ holidays, have a life to live?

In other words you're not sitting in front of a window with a telescope pointed at your neighbour's lawn 24/7...or at least I hope you're not?

So how do you really know what your neighbour does to his, or her lawn?

Of course if they sneak back a little weed-and-feed, or grub killer over the border every year on that trip to Florida their lawn is going to look excellent. But are they honestly going to divulge they put a little something-something down when they know it's illegal?

I know this is going on a lot more than you think, because many people have told me they are doing it to keep their lawns under control. Is your neighbour one of them?

Again the answer is, "I don't know".

I do know the weed gnomes do not magically appear at three in the morning and haul away all the dandelions. And I also know a healthy green lawn doesn't get that way by itself- it takes some effort.

Look, I too, have a few neighbours who don't have lawn companies and who I never see working on their lawn other than cutting it. Yet both their lawns look as lush and green as mine...sometimes even better.

I fertilize, I aerate twice a year, I over-seed, I apply commercially mixed Fiesta for weed control and still they have no problem keeping up.

Understand this, the lawn care industry still has many tools to help your lawn get to where you want it- soil testing, low maintenance grass seeds like Eco-Lawn to name a few- it's just, without the old methods, it doesn't transform overnight. Yet, whether you use a razor or a butter knife you can still cut a rope and every year they are developing a better butter knife.

So back to your neighbour for a moment and his certain something.

Let me ask you this:

If your neighbour dances over the grey line to get a few bucks back on taxes does that bug you too?

Under the current bylaw there are only two paths to choose from here - play by the rules, or cheat. At fines that range to $200,000 a lawn I think I'll stay on the safer road.

Oh and BTW, the picture above is one of the lawns I take care of with a butter knife.

So, how come your neighbour's lawn looks so much better than yours when they do nothing to it?

The answer is, "I still don't know for sure, but I have my suspicions".

Roll, roll, roll your lawn?

Judging from the number of people who ask me if I roll lawns, there seems to be a certain amount of misconception. Maybe it's hormonal? It seems every year men from all corners feel the need to get out there and work on the lawn and in many cases this includes the overwhelming desire to roll the grass.

You should only roll your lawn in the event it has been newly sodded or seeded. Rolling your lawn, much like aerating too early, can actually cause more damage than good. It compacts the soil sealing off the turfs ability to get precious oxygen, moisture and the nutrients it needs to remain thick, healthy and resistant to weeds as well as other turf diseases.

Compacting the soil squashes all the soil particles together.

This means that air spaces necessary for good root growth are eliminated. It also means that water can't penetrate the soil because there are no holes for it to move into. The bulk of the water runs off the lawn and never penetrates deep into the soil to the root zone level. This run off water takes the dissolving plant food with it so the spring feeding is washed down the sewer. In one fell swoop, rolling a lawn eliminates the necessary aeration, prevents water from entering and assists in the removal of spring applied fertilizer.

I can't think of an faster way to help put stress on a lawn than to roll the lawn first thing in the spring.

Sure I could roll lawns then turn around and tell the customer they now need an aeration while doubling my money in one fell swoop, but if you have read any of my previous posts you'll understand by now, that's not what I'm about.

Yet, those of you who golf will say, "the greens crews roll the green. What about that huh? I wish I had a putting green for a lawn."

Rolling a green is not the same as lawn rolling your home lawn. Your lawn sits on a mixture of soil types and these are easily compacted; a green sits on special sand chosen for its ability not to compact. Turf being grown for putting greens is one of the most intensively managed grass surfaces in the world. It is fed, watered and treated for disease on a regular basis exempt from pesticide bylaws. You and I, we don't have the luxury.

Even with the special sand bases, if the putting greens are rolled several times a week, they will usually have to be regularly "cored" to allow for expansion of the soil, and the introduction of water and air. The turf manager at a golf course is treading a thin line between optimum grass health and optimum playing surface. That is his specialty

What is critical to understand is that the soils on the green and your lawn can't be compared and so the lawn rolling practices will be different.

In any case, the next time you feel the urge to roll your lawn, roll, roll, roll the lawn roller into the neighbourhood garage sale instead because unless you want to produce concrete, you don't need it anymore.

Too much too soon

Spring is here, the birds are returning, the days are getting longer, the wind although still with a bite, is warming up and those dudes are pushing aerators from door to door.

I ask you, what would early April be if we didn't have those individuals moving like slugs, pushing their Ryans and Blue Birds of happiness up and down our streets.

However, the truth is, although aeration is a valuable tool in maintaining lawn health by opening up the root system and alleviating compaction, it's too soon to aerate your lawn. You can do far more damage instead of benefit at this point in the season. When I told this to the girl who huffed and puffed her way passed my house with her banged-up Ryan, she had no idea.

Yet, dollars to donuts say, the company who sent her out knows. They're in the lawn care industry how can they not? They just choose to ignore the obvious in order to take the money off the street.

As I've said before, I don't care if another company or individual does a lawn, I can't service them all and for some reason seem to be one of the few who realize this.

What I am concerned about is, the job is being performed incorrectly and the customer is the one who suffers in the long run.

If I spilled paint on some one's expensive drapes while painting their wall because I didn't follow the correct procedure of protecting the window covering before I started, I wouldn't expect that customer to enthusiastically call me back for more work, or refer me to others.

I feel for the girl, she's doing as directed by the company in order to make a living and I don't expect lawn care will be a vocation she readily follows into the future.

No one wants to aerate lawns the rest of their life and she will have most likely moved on by next season. Her current employer should realize...so may the customer.

True lies

As I await the start of the 2011 lawn season, I am appalled at some of the rumblings I am hearing concerning the lawn care industry.

A few posts back I noted the rampant slander present, as one company slags another in order to gain advantage in a competitive market place. Now I'm hearing the potential customers are not immune to the lies.

One company has been touting the return of chemical spraying for weeds, spray approved by the government. Another claims exclusive rights to a new German weed control no one else has. Yet another is proclaiming the use of a new weed control for 2011 and again...acting like they have exclusivity.

Most people don't know much about their lawn and when they are given this information they take it and run with it. However, be aware of the truth shrouded beneath a haze of misinformation.

These three separate companies from above are actually talking about the same product. That's right. It's the same weed control I've done a number of posts on already. This is because I, like pretty much every other company out there have been using it since May of 2010.

The product is called Fiesta. The active ingredient is iron and it is an organic control so it can be used under the pesticide bylaw. However, it is not a systemic control and must be applied in two applications not more than 30 days apart.

It's also very expensive.

So I ask, is this missinformation deliberate to try and woo/fleece customers back to the already untrustworthy, or is stupidity really that ubiquitous?

It's no different than the kerfuffle surrounding Sarritor a few years back when one company cornered the market on the only available weed control for use under the bylaw. Later the truth about the lack of effectiveness of Sarritor surfaced and that company is still putting out fires while trying to repair their damage credibility.

In revisiting the statements of the three companies in question; I guess because it's a concentrate and requires certain precautions when using it, it's the same process as when we had chemical control...but a true chemical weed control as you, the homeowner knew it....no.

It is manufactured by a German company called Neudorff who are California based, but Fiesta is not sold under the name Neudorff...so German yes, but every lawn care operator with a licence has access to it, so exclusive....no.

New weed control? well in the scheme of things I guess so, since it's still under a year old in the market place, but new as in, no one has used it before....no. Hell, you've probably purchased the diluted Scotts version of it called, "Weed-B-Gone".

You have to ask yourself, if these companies are lying to you about this product, what else are they twisting the truth on?

Don't be an April Fool. Recognize what you're being told for what it's worth: a clever marketing ploy and nothing more.